Funny But True

i once was pulled in by a carp. three years ago on the first ever day fishing a new lake, (had only fished rivers til then) i was using a whip rod from argos with a lump of chocolate paste (recommended by a local so i knocked up some cocoa powder, egg and semolina mix). i was doing really well, or so i thought, catching loads of little roach and perch. suddenly, something 'massive' swiled infront of me, and the line went taught. with no elastic, 10lb mono, and a muddy bank the enevitable happened and i went head first into the drink, the line snapping the second i hit the water. the next day i turned up with better footwear and a chain of elastic bands tied between the rod and the line. and so i went catching loads of roach, perch and some rudd too, then the swirl again and the rod was pulled from my hands. for the second time in as may days, i ended up in the little match lake, swimming madly after my rod, but sadly the carp was faster then i was.

i have also been slapped by a fish, not an eel, but my first catfish. after a quick fight i caught a (massive, lol) catfish of 4-12. i was used to carp and thought it was spent, but it managd the energy to poo on my brand new teeshirt, flip in my hands, slap me across the gob and slide back into the water. i think matey next door actually p***ed himself laughing.

Well here is my contribution. A couple of years back my mate and I went to a small pit called holywell hyde for some winter carping. We arrived a bit late in the morning and all the best swims had gone, leaving the far right bank which although it is good for fish the bank is short and steep. The bank is re-enforced with railway sleepers leaving a drop af about 2 feet into the lake.
With some difficulty we found a couple of flat spots at the top of the bank for our bivvies and set up for the weekend. At that time as the banks were steep we used to take a tilley lamp to light the pegs at night. Well we duly set up and about 10pm I caught the first carp of the night, when I went to put the gear back out with the bait boat the rod started to slide off the pod. Thinking I had forgotten to flick the bale arm I cursed and went to do it only to find that in fact it was so cold that the line had frozen in the rings. At 1130 pm I caught my first decent carp of the night I landed it but the bank was so steep I had to kneel in front of it to stop it sliding off the mat.
At this point my mate appears sleepy eyed to see what was going on steps out of his bivvy and proceeds to slide down the ice covered bank towards me. Now I am in a predicament I have a carp on the mat leaning against my knees and my mate is approaching at a fast rate of knots on minature ski slope. I reached out and caught hold of his shoulder as he passed but was unable to slow his progress and he sailed past off the sleepers and up to his waste in the lake.
Being a good mate I offered to make him a nice hot cup of tea while he stripped down to his pants. he decided that if he dried his socks over the tilley lamp he could at least warm his feet.
I made the tea and we sat in my bivvy with the heater on trying to get him warm at which point I enquired if he could smell something strange, he agreed he could, we looked out of the bivvy to see his socks ablaze on the top of the tilley lamp lol.
Well needless to say he has never lived that one down and when ever we go now and we are doing our last minute tackle check before shutting the boot I always enquire : Towel,spare trousers extra socks ??? lol

ha ha nice one

couldn't help laughing, Eric. good one.

this is not that funny but it really freaked me out. i was fishing for barbel on the river wey near ripley. across the fields i heard a voice speaking through a loud speaker or microphone system, and i could see the glow of the Ripley Bonfire. i was getting the odd chub-like bite so i left the rod out, baiturnner on, and turned to watch the fireworks. they started quite early, just as it was getting dark. they went on for about ten minutes, before i saw one explode over my head. a second later i heard a splash and hiss. i turned roud as quick as i could, and there was a dark shape sliding down the river in the current. i turned the headtorch on and saw the top of a rocket hissing it's way downstream. i'm just glad it landed in the water not on me! i decided to wind in and go home, just in case any more rockets came my way. no barbel, unfortunately, but there's always another day.

Got so many for this one, used to babrel with fish with stew and another lad called jason, or donkey as we used to know him. Well he used to have a habit of getting naked in the middle of the night and sneak up on you on your peg, or hide in a field and jump out on you as you walk past, takes years off you in the middle of the night trust me, and this is where his donkey name came from. One thing we found out when young is that castors are like mini paintballs when fired into someones chest from a good catapult. We were once fishing for eels many years ago on a local river, a guy in the village used to buy them off us. We went down, prebaited and at dusk the eels were everywhere. In the space of an hour we had about twenty in a bucket. After another ten mins I felt something on my legs, turned on the torch only to find 6 eels crawling across my lap. I freaked and ran screaming into a field like a big girls blouse. It took my mate twenty mins to stop laughing at me. He got me good a couple of years ago too. We had been nailing a local lake for carp, had spotted them all in one corner and spent a month or so catching them all. One night we were in the land of nod, and at this time I was using a brolly overwrap, all tucked up in the sleeping bag with the feet sticking out the brolly. The fishing had been slow and my mate decided to liven things up at 2am by doing one with my line. The bite alarm screamed and I sat bolt upright, straight into the brolly pole almost knocking myself out. As I struggled with staying concious and getting out of the sleeping bag I got that tangled in it I broke 2 toes trying to get out. Bloody hillarious!!!!

While fishing at a local gravel pit a mate of mine lee got tangled in a swan in the middle of the night after a long fight he managed to get it on the bank and free it. James had slept right through the commotion how the hell he managed it I dont know. So lee unzipped his bivvy popped the swan in and zipped it up again!

You have never seen anything so funny in all your life the bivvy looked like two boxers having a go in a brown paper bag there were lumps and bumps appearing every where. I can't remember the last time I have laughed so much and once james managed to let it out the swan strolled off as if nothing had happened.

in the closed season last year i was fishing at a local lake for carp, i left the boilies air drying in te bivvy while i walked the 500 yards to the shop. whev i arrived back, the bivvy had moved 10 yards and the entrace was torn, the boilies and my bucket of pellets were everywhere. as i approacked i assumed that the local beestard had been mucking about with my kit, but then the bivvy moved. it was a Trackker one with the overwrap and half the arms looked broken, but there was something inside. i pulled the overwrap back with a bankstick,only to find a pair of geese happily munching on the remainder of my boilies. the only other guy on the lake said he had tried to scare them off by catapulting boilies at them, and had been on the way around when i got back.